A Lesson Re-Learned—Nobody Likes Surprises

I have mentioned that, after the age of three, no one likes surprises. If you forget that, as I did earlier this week, the results can be painful.

A reader commented on one of my strongly-worded blog posts. They disagreed vehemently. I was not surprised.

What surprised me was the offline contact from the reader who explained why they took the subject so seriously; it was something they were facing in a very real way, right now.

What followed was a 5,000-word email conversation about the issue, which finally ended in complete agreement with my original post.

Here’s where the ‘learning experience’ happens.

Re-reading the 10 pages of conversation I realized that this was information nearly anyone could benefit from. I asked if, perhaps, I could share an anonymised version of the conversation with others.

The answer was a horrified emphatic ‘no!’

I realized after some thought that I had changed contexts; from a private conversation to a public forum. No, nothing had really changed, and I certainly hadn’t shared anything with anyone. But simply asking the question was unexpected; the surprise we’re supposed to be avoiding.

Don’t go around surprising people. It doesn’t work.

There’s No Such Thing as Work/Life Balance (or, Why Business is Not About Money)

Two themes come up frequently in my conversations with and reading about other entrepreneurs—work/life balance, and ‘the bottom line.’

The first doesn’t exist, and the second is not why you’re in business.

If you’re in business for the right reasons, you love what you do; it’s what gets you out of bed in the morning. Of course you love your family; of course you have other interests besides work. No respectable person puts work ahead of family; no reasonable person only has one interest, to the exclusion of all others.

But you’d better love what you’re doing, especially if you’re self-employed. Honestly, why would you hire yourself to do a job you don’t like?

So, let’s assume that your work is just another manifestation of your passion.

Do you really expect to take it off and put it on like a sweater? And what does it have to do with money?

Sometimes I work late into the night, missing some family time because I’m in the zone. Sometimes. But, just as often; more often, actually, I take time in the middle of a ‘business day’ to spend time with my wife, my daughters, my friends. I take time, right in the middle of the week, away from work and the office, to share in spiritual activities with my family. I stop work at 4:00 most days to work on an album of jazz songs I’m writing with my older daughter; then, I go back to what I was doing. Or, I don’t. I keep my goals loose and flexible where possible, so I can decide how to spend my time.

Work/life balance means being balanced in my own head, not balanced on a clock or calendar.

And money? C’mon; I’d do 90% of what I’m doing right now, even if I had enough money to retire. I love writing. I love coaching solo professionals, writers, musicians, helping them communicate with their prospects and fans better to establish trust and build relationships. I love my web business; sorting out what’s needed, designing tools, doing usability studies, helping clients build what they really need instead of what they think they need. (Okay, if I really had money, I’d offload the coding to someone more talented than me.)

I love to barter. If someone has a skill I can benefit from, and they need something I can do, I want to work with them. What I don’t want is to turn our genuine human caring into a commercial enterprise. Fer cryin’ out loud; the whole point of my consulting business and my writing is to do exactly the opposite, to get businesses to be more human, to stop behaving like abstract entities with no soul, and start speaking and trusting and caring like real human beings do.

Work/life balance is how you choose to serve yourself and the ones you love, every minute of every day; choices about the long run, not the moment.

And, in the long run, it’s not about money. Not ever.

Genuine. Artificial. Know the Difference.

There’s a particular orchid which creates a remarkable product.

One flower produces one fruit. No mass production.

The flower lasts about one day, sometimes less, and so, growers have to inspect their plantations every day for open flowers, a labor-intensive task.

Like other orchids’ seeds, its  seeds will not germinate without the presence of a certain fungus. In nature, it’s a rare occurrence, which is why orchids aren’t on every kitchen counter.

Each flower must be hand-pollinated within 12 hours of opening.

It takes the fruits 5 to 6 weeks to develop but it takes around 9 months for it to mature.

Each ripens at its own time, requiring a daily harvest. To ensure the finest flavor each fruit must be picked by hand just as it begins to split on the end.

It is the second most expensive spice in the world, after saffron.

So why has the word ‘vanilla’ come to mean bland, boring, the brainless default option?

Imitation vanilla has given us all a bad impression of real vanilla. Have some good quality vanilla bean ice cream tonight; taste it like a fine wine, and see if genuine doesn’t, in fact, beat artificial.

Oh, and while you’re eating it, consider what that means in your marketing and your business.

The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility; or, Do You Want Fries with That?

We trick ourselves into counterproductive behaviour far more often than we realize. We have two very different decision-making processes in our heads: intuition, our gut-check that things feel right, and reasoning, the logical deductions based on empirical data. Both have their place in life and in business—the trick is to know when to use which. A refinement of that trick is to know which one our prospects, suspects and clients are using.

Sociologists talk about the law of diminishing marginal utility, the fact that when something good happens, our enjoyment doesn’t increase in direct proportion to the good. Obviously not all events can be enumerated, but for the sake of example, if we’re given a gift of $100, or a gift of $200, the second gift will not make us twice as happy. And as the numbers get bigger, the enjoyment shortfall increases.

We have the same reaction to losses; losing twice as much money doesn’t hurt twice as much.

But losing $100 actually triggers about twice as much pain as the amount of enjoyment triggered by being given $100. As human beings, we are ‘risk averse’, meaning we’re more affected by loss than by gains.

As a business person, it would be easy to take advantage of that (in a negative sense, or a positive one.) It would be easy to offer a single, all-encompassing service or product, and then ask the prospect which parts they don’t want, in order to reduce it to their choice. When auto dealerships do this, for instance, people end up keeping more of the optional equipment and spending more money than if they’d started with a base model and added on what they wanted. It’s a cheap psychological trick.

On the other hand, you may know that this package of services is truly at its best (for the client, not you) if they take the whole package. Starting with the basic service and adding on options isn’t the best way to reach that objective. Instead, offer it as a package, the meal deal. If they really belong together, that’s the right thing to do. And if it makes sense, allow folks to remove parts of the service to meet their economic or other limitations. The act of removing options, the feeling of loss, will nudge them toward making the best choice.

The best choice for themselves, not you, right?

Of course, when you’re the customer, being aware of this concept gives you real power. Always start with the base model, and add on only those options which add real value. Remember, not every sales person is as ethical and customer-centric as you are.

New Book! The Commonsense Virtual Assistant

My wife and I have just completed our first business book together.

The Commonsense Virtual Assistant—Becoming an Entrepreneur, Not an Employee, is designed to help the growing number of virtual assistants analyze their business skills, and find and fill any gaps.

It’s also a resource if you’re looking for a VA. The book outlines what you should expect from a professional virtual assistant.

You can pre-order an autographed copy for $19.95. The book will ship in May.

What Folks Are Already Saying About the Book

“Your book will be a great asset to many new VAs.” Jan, Your Virtual Wizard

“Good luck with your book. I hope it will emphasize the importance of self-worth and encourage future VAs to value their skills, to always continue their education, and to be responsible and conscientious business owners.” Jennifer, www.ccvirtually.com

“Can’t wait to buy your book!” Rosalind Harris CPS, www.instantassistant.net

“Sue and Joel, I really appreciate your efforts in putting this information together and look forward to the final product.” Margie Gibson, MG Virtual Office Solutions

Plan Ahead. Expect Change.

When my wife went into the hospital for emergency surgery almost three weeks ago, we weren’t quite ready for me to take over her business. But, as John Lennon famously said (and Murphy always knew) life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

We’d known that since her business has reached a certain stage, my job is to take over as general manager and project manager and put some systems in place. It’s been a challenge, but no major crashes.

She’s home again, slowly stitching things back together. Three immediate benefits came from this:

1. The crash course brought me up to speed faster than if we’d lollygagged for the next six months.

2. Her clients know that, even if she’s not at the helm, the business will still function.

3. We have two employees we can depend on.

Cassi Brazil has been assisting Sue with Awesome Assistant for some time. She’s intelligent, talented and hard-working. Sue calls Cassi her clone. If you know Sue, this says much about Cassi.

The surprise was when it made sense for our daughter, Rachelle Ashman, to quit her job at the photography studio to work with us. She has the finest customer service skills I’ve seen and puts a high value on our family’s success through entrepreneurship.

Rachelle will be our customer service front line from now on. She’ll be watching the office, helping connect the right client with the right people here at BizBa6, and making sure you’re taken care of. Sue and I are always available, and Rachelle will be there to help make it happen.

We’re proud of our junior entrepreneur and her willingness to pitch in and make our shared dream a reality.

Pretty, Powerful in Pink

This post is used by permission of its author, T. Scott Gross, author of “Positively Outrageous Service”

(This month’s e-ziine is a little…soft. But hang in to the end and you’ll be glad you did!)

She’s a girly girl. Pink is her favorite color. She experiments with hairstyles and thinks she has an eye for fashion. She sings in the shower and sometimes skips through the living room. She studies gymnastics as well as ju jitsu.

Did I mention she is only ten?

While I’m at it, let me remind you she is also Pops’ girl.

We’re talking about my granddaughter. I call her “The Princess” and it’s my job to teach her things that too often parents forget. So far we’ve learned how to change the AC filters, a chore that included a lesson on using ladders safely, instruction on writing the date of the change on the edge of the filter, and how to check the direction of the air flow so you get the right side out.

We’ve learned how to put a spit shine on a pair of Pops’ dress shoes. (She like the spit part! We know about fixing a leaky flapper valve on a toilet, when to use gloves and safety glasses, how to dump brush at the city landfill, and why the sky is blue and what makes the setting sun look so big.

She can set a fire in the fireplace, use the wire grinder to prepare the grill for spring painting, and can tell you how to light and frame a photograph.

Granny Buns has added fun lessons on baking sugar cookies, frosting chocolate cinnamon cake, and how to wrap a gift. The Princess has her own apron hanging in Granny Buns’ kitchen. She can tell you where to find the sugar, the vanilla extract, and she’s learning who likes what to drink with dinner and what each family member will want to go with their dessert.

Because my office is in the front of the house I usually spy The Princess and her older brother “Big Guy” before they reach the door. For some odd reason I always alert Buns by yelling, “Incoming!” When the door opens the kid with the ponytail is usually the first in.

“Is that the prettiest girl in the whole wide world?’ That’s always the question and the answer is taken for obvious. Big Guy and The Princess never know when a visit will result in a lesson in addition to a piece of the latest baked masterpiece from Granny Buns’ kitchen.

At ten when you ask the “what do you want to be when you grow up” question the answer changes with each asking. But Pops and Granny Buns know the answer and we are proud to say they are already well on their way to a lifetime career of honesty, solid work ethic, and unlimited curiosity as well as the ability to find the answers they seek.

We want our grandkids to be powerful individuals who are free to do whatever they chose and not be cowed by the opinions of others or the dimwitted spirit that comes with incompetence.

I won’t leave this earth until it has a princess who knows that she need not bend to the controlling wishes of others.

This spring there will be a new tool box lined up on top of the workbench. It will be a pink one.

Big, tall, hairy-legged boys show up at our house to raid the dessert stock and hang out with our grandson, Forrest. Skinny ten year old girls with long shiny hair and too-big front teeth come in on puffs of fresh air and mom’s perfume to dig through the refrigerator with The Princess.

Every one of them zooms in for a hug before leaving. Every one says in puberty-laced bass voices or girly girl falsetto, Thanks Pops! Thanks Granny Buns before disappearing for who knows how long.

Not all, maybe darned few of your employees have someone in their life to teach them how to tune a guitar, sing in harmony, flip an egg, or even that you take your shoes off outside if they are muddy. So when they screw up… and they will screw up… take time to discover if their behavior was negligent or simply the result of not having a Pops and Granny Buns. If that’s the case… step up to the plate, we have work to do!

11:59

Guest Post by Triiibes Friend Rick Wilson DMD

For the next 3 years, it’s 11:59. All the time.

And in spite of all odds, January was a good beginning for us. Because we made it so. Laser focus, people, that’s the key. Full-throttle sense of purpose. Nothing less will do in these times.

Trust me, though. You can do it. Si se puede!

I’ve set goals and I’m determined to rock out in spite of the overall economy. Operating within Seth’s philosophy which so far is working beautifully. It’s not fast, not a quick fix, but I’m just beginning to see real long-term rewards.

I believe that each business should identify their own “Four Horsemen of their Apocalypse”. Maybe three, maybe five, but some tangible things that hold us back. I also firmly believe that it’s hard to see your own challenges clearly, and that it helps a great deal to look at other industries or fields that are different than your own. Then draw parallels and learn and apply the lessons to yourself.

Wanna hear mine? The last will surprise you. OK. Essentially all I need to experience growth are a certain number of new patients per month. Leave the rest up to me and my wonderful staff, we practice Edgecraft etc. and treat people in Anne’s Visceral manner, very I-You. All I need is to have enough folks find us. We’ll handle the rest.

So my Horsemen are:

1. People who move away. Our society is a very mobile one. I still miss folks who moved away a long time ago, and recently we’ve had such fine patients go far away. It’s sad, and also of course it drains away a little part of the practice each time it happens.
2. Patients who pass away. (No, not in the chair!) Our practice has a large elderly population. Even sadder than when they move, of course, and same effects in losing potentially more than we can gain with new patients.
3. Patients who say, “My insurance changed, I can’t see you anymore”. But you have to say this out loud in that exact voice that Jerry Lewis used when he screamed “Laaaady!” ;} Here’s the irony—they are usually folks who are healthy and have very little dental needs besides maintenance, and it might cost them, say, $140 per year instead of, say, $57 per year. I can understand changing doctors when thousands of dollars in some reconstruction might be reduced, but these smaller amounts do leave me bemused.
4. Here’s the interesting one—people get healthy! If patients are reasonably compliant and listen to health advice, we can reduce cavities and periodontal disease to very low levels. It has been said that dentistry is the only major business that is constantlly trying to put itself out of business.

I post these in detail because, again, it takes a lot of deep thought to truly identify the challenges in your own business, and I find going far afield helps to figure it all out. So maybe someone here who does something quite different than me can use this, and will see something that they missed before.

So, in my case I need Marketing. Not Advertising, which is broken, but Marketing. So we Embrace The Cow, we use Edgecraft, I recognize that we’ll always serve a crowd but also we can lead a tribe within that; I reflect on and use Anne’s Visceral Business and Blatant Integrity concepts. I’m a bit fortunate that way because Dr. Sukoneck practiced that way instinctively since the 70’s, before it was ever called that.

So, bringing in an appropriate number of new patients and treating them with excellence is what I need to do to counterbalance my Four Horsemen. As long as we stay focused every minute as if it’s 11:59 we will continue to grow. The best thing about using Seth’s concepts as opposed to “Y’all come” advertising is this—nearly all of the new patients who are referred by our existing patients are fine people with whom we can have a good mutual relationship, and this is simply because they were referred in by similar people who are already in the practice. We rarely have an extremely difficult, cantankerous new patient these days because it’s not a random selection process.

Rick Wilson DMD

Introducing Friends of The Commonsense Entrepreneur

I’d like to introduce you to some friends; a couple dozen, in fact.

Marketing guru Seth Godin’s latest book Tribes inspired a social network where some of the smartest people I’ve met hang out and share business ideas. A small segment of that group have banded together to create a smaller network of business mentoring professionals. We’re going to be sharing business ideas, not just with each other, but with each other’s clients. So when you talk to me, you’re talking to an international team of incredibly talented professionals.

I’ve created a full page to introduce them properly. It begins, though, with our shared philosophy on the state of business today. Please drop by and introduce yourself to any of these fine folks who strike your fancy.

And stay tuned for more developments!