There’s No Such Thing as Work/Life Balance (or, Why Business is Not About Money)

Two themes come up frequently in my conversations with and reading about other entrepreneurs—work/life balance, and ‘the bottom line.’

The first doesn’t exist, and the second is not why you’re in business.

If you’re in business for the right reasons, you love what you do; it’s what gets you out of bed in the morning. Of course you love your family; of course you have other interests besides work. No respectable person puts work ahead of family; no reasonable person only has one interest, to the exclusion of all others.

But you’d better love what you’re doing, especially if you’re self-employed. Honestly, why would you hire yourself to do a job you don’t like?

So, let’s assume that your work is just another manifestation of your passion.

Do you really expect to take it off and put it on like a sweater? And what does it have to do with money?

Sometimes I work late into the night, missing some family time because I’m in the zone. Sometimes. But, just as often; more often, actually, I take time in the middle of a ‘business day’ to spend time with my wife, my daughters, my friends. I take time, right in the middle of the week, away from work and the office, to share in spiritual activities with my family. I stop work at 4:00 most days to work on an album of jazz songs I’m writing with my older daughter; then, I go back to what I was doing. Or, I don’t. I keep my goals loose and flexible where possible, so I can decide how to spend my time.

Work/life balance means being balanced in my own head, not balanced on a clock or calendar.

And money? C’mon; I’d do 90% of what I’m doing right now, even if I had enough money to retire. I love writing. I love coaching solo professionals, writers, musicians, helping them communicate with their prospects and fans better to establish trust and build relationships. I love my web business; sorting out what’s needed, designing tools, doing usability studies, helping clients build what they really need instead of what they think they need. (Okay, if I really had money, I’d offload the coding to someone more talented than me.)

I love to barter. If someone has a skill I can benefit from, and they need something I can do, I want to work with them. What I don’t want is to turn our genuine human caring into a commercial enterprise. Fer cryin’ out loud; the whole point of my consulting business and my writing is to do exactly the opposite, to get businesses to be more human, to stop behaving like abstract entities with no soul, and start speaking and trusting and caring like real human beings do.

Work/life balance is how you choose to serve yourself and the ones you love, every minute of every day; choices about the long run, not the moment.

And, in the long run, it’s not about money. Not ever.

Genuine. Artificial. Know the Difference.

There’s a particular orchid which creates a remarkable product.

One flower produces one fruit. No mass production.

The flower lasts about one day, sometimes less, and so, growers have to inspect their plantations every day for open flowers, a labor-intensive task.

Like other orchids’ seeds, its  seeds will not germinate without the presence of a certain fungus. In nature, it’s a rare occurrence, which is why orchids aren’t on every kitchen counter.

Each flower must be hand-pollinated within 12 hours of opening.

It takes the fruits 5 to 6 weeks to develop but it takes around 9 months for it to mature.

Each ripens at its own time, requiring a daily harvest. To ensure the finest flavor each fruit must be picked by hand just as it begins to split on the end.

It is the second most expensive spice in the world, after saffron.

So why has the word ‘vanilla’ come to mean bland, boring, the brainless default option?

Imitation vanilla has given us all a bad impression of real vanilla. Have some good quality vanilla bean ice cream tonight; taste it like a fine wine, and see if genuine doesn’t, in fact, beat artificial.

Oh, and while you’re eating it, consider what that means in your marketing and your business.

The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility; or, Do You Want Fries with That?

We trick ourselves into counterproductive behaviour far more often than we realize. We have two very different decision-making processes in our heads: intuition, our gut-check that things feel right, and reasoning, the logical deductions based on empirical data. Both have their place in life and in business—the trick is to know when to use which. A refinement of that trick is to know which one our prospects, suspects and clients are using.

Sociologists talk about the law of diminishing marginal utility, the fact that when something good happens, our enjoyment doesn’t increase in direct proportion to the good. Obviously not all events can be enumerated, but for the sake of example, if we’re given a gift of $100, or a gift of $200, the second gift will not make us twice as happy. And as the numbers get bigger, the enjoyment shortfall increases.

We have the same reaction to losses; losing twice as much money doesn’t hurt twice as much.

But losing $100 actually triggers about twice as much pain as the amount of enjoyment triggered by being given $100. As human beings, we are ‘risk averse’, meaning we’re more affected by loss than by gains.

As a business person, it would be easy to take advantage of that (in a negative sense, or a positive one.) It would be easy to offer a single, all-encompassing service or product, and then ask the prospect which parts they don’t want, in order to reduce it to their choice. When auto dealerships do this, for instance, people end up keeping more of the optional equipment and spending more money than if they’d started with a base model and added on what they wanted. It’s a cheap psychological trick.

On the other hand, you may know that this package of services is truly at its best (for the client, not you) if they take the whole package. Starting with the basic service and adding on options isn’t the best way to reach that objective. Instead, offer it as a package, the meal deal. If they really belong together, that’s the right thing to do. And if it makes sense, allow folks to remove parts of the service to meet their economic or other limitations. The act of removing options, the feeling of loss, will nudge them toward making the best choice.

The best choice for themselves, not you, right?

Of course, when you’re the customer, being aware of this concept gives you real power. Always start with the base model, and add on only those options which add real value. Remember, not every sales person is as ethical and customer-centric as you are.

Business Advice—Two Centuries Old

I’m reading the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, partly for historical interest, and partly because of the business lessons in it. Franklin was a serial entrepreneur, regularly seeing huge success implementing ideas which others thought were impossible or pointless.

At one point, an acquaintance asked Franklin’s advice about who he should ask for donations for a worthy cause. Franklin replied, “I advise you to apply to all those whom you know will give something; next, to those whom you are uncertain whether they will give any thing or not, and show them the list of those who have given; and, lastly, do not neglect those who you are sure will give nothing, for in some of them you may be mistaken.”

There’s quite an array of good advice just under that suggestion’s surface.

First, begin with success. The initial step in developing a new idea, selling a new product, or beginning any project, should be one you know you can finish quickly and easily. Get a single success under your belt, and the rest of the process will be less formidable. Fail in that first baby step, though, and you’ll be forced to step back and analyze your position, process, and goals.

Next, defuse fear by showing prospects and suspects that others have already taken the plunge. Joining a group of folks we respect or trust or just know is much less risky than being the first to jump into the pool.

Finally, never assume you know who’s interested. Ask them all. I remember the story of two boys walking to school. One told the other “Today, I’m going to ask every girl I see for a kiss.” His friend replied “You’re gonna get slapped a lot.”

Walking home, the second boy said “Get slapped a lot today?” to which his friend replied “Yeah—but I got some kisses, too!”

Don’t assume. Within the bounds of personal, anticipated and relevant communication, ask ‘em all.

What do you get from Franklin’s advice?

Bit-by-Bit Reading

I don’t own a copy of Franklin’s autobiography. I’m reading it by email.

DailyLit is a web service which emails you books, from the brand new to classics, in short sections you can read every day. Franklin’s autobiography is 75 sections, which I’m getting only on business days. By the time I finish, it will have taken me 15 weeks to read a book I might not have read at all if I wasn’t being nudged every day.

There are loads of free books available. Seth Godin’s “Bootstrapper’s Bible” (http://www.dailylit.com/books/bootstrappers-bible) for instance. You can sign up for this free service, and read all the free books you want. If you prefer something more popular, the prices are about the same as buying a paperback, with the advantage of a simple tool to read in bits and pieces.

What do you think about reading like that? If I serialised my books, would you want to get a free copy, bit by bit, every day or once a week by email, or do you prefer to have the physical book in your hands to read in your comfy chair?

New Book! The Commonsense Virtual Assistant

My wife and I have just completed our first business book together.

The Commonsense Virtual Assistant—Becoming an Entrepreneur, Not an Employee, is designed to help the growing number of virtual assistants analyze their business skills, and find and fill any gaps.

It’s also a resource if you’re looking for a VA. The book outlines what you should expect from a professional virtual assistant.

You can pre-order an autographed copy for $19.95. The book will ship in May.

What Folks Are Already Saying About the Book

“Your book will be a great asset to many new VAs.” Jan, Your Virtual Wizard

“Good luck with your book. I hope it will emphasize the importance of self-worth and encourage future VAs to value their skills, to always continue their education, and to be responsible and conscientious business owners.” Jennifer, www.ccvirtually.com

“Can’t wait to buy your book!” Rosalind Harris CPS, www.instantassistant.net

“Sue and Joel, I really appreciate your efforts in putting this information together and look forward to the final product.” Margie Gibson, MG Virtual Office Solutions